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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706873">Happy Tissues</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kqbaby/pseuds/kqbaby'>kqbaby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kellin Fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bandom, Sleeping With Sirens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Voyeurism, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Romance, Anxiety, Backstory, Cell Phones, Conversations, Cute, Desire, Dirty Thoughts, Dream Sex, Dreams, Emotional Porn, Emotions, F/M, Feelings, Feels, First Dates, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Freckles, Hot, Loneliness, Long-Distance Relationship, Love, Lust, Masturbation, Memories, Musicians, Other, POV First Person, POV Male Character, Phone Calls &amp; Telephones, Picnics, Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Secrets, Sexual Frustration, Single POV, Smut, Social Anxiety, Strawberries, Sweet, Sweet/Hot, Tour Bus, Touring, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Tension, Voyeurism, Warped Tour, Wet Dream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:28:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kqbaby/pseuds/kqbaby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kellin misses his girlfriend at Warped Tour (2012).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kellin Quinn/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kellin Fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786225</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Happy Tissues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Kellin's POV. Sexual, but not very explicit.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>I slipped away after the set, taking the longest route possible back to the tour bus. Partying with the guys just didn’t appeal to me tonight. The last few days, I’d been feeling particularly anxious and overwhelmed. The burden of so many unattainable expectations and demands, from others and myself, was incredibly isolating. All I was interested in was making music. I never wanted to be the face of the band, and it was unfathomable to me that the attention I was getting now could be considered anything other than upsetting and uncomfortable. Being human was a luxury that wasn’t being afforded to me. Standing up for myself, trying to assert boundaries, or simply failing to conceal my unease were all condemnable offenses. Gabe’s rude and disrespectful antics at the interview today had only exacerbated my frustrations. Watch, I’d be the one to catch criticism for calling him out, the context of my comments immaterial as always. It must be nice to act so freely, unencumbered by consequences at my expense.</p><p>For what was probably the millionth time since going on tour, I wished for Gemma. She was always able to find a way of extending understanding to someone, no matter how incomprehensible their behavior seemed. It was an understated kind of validation, just acknowledging the vast spectrum of human emotion and how universally difficult navigating it is.</p><p>This wish was just as futile as all the others. I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets, which brought my awareness to my phone for the first time since this morning. My heart hitched with the rush of optimism that I might already have a message from her. That optimism ended up circling the drain when my screen greeted me with the taunting flash of a dead battery icon. I picked up my pace with renewed motivation. Having returned my phone to my pocket, I couldn't help but notice the hazy amethyst spell of the evening. I regret it immediately, unable to resist the memory it conjured.</p><p>
  <em>"I love this part of the day," she remarked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I flicked my eyes toward her from under the arm resting on my forehead and watched as she bit into another strawberry, releasing its juices down her lips. Oblivious to my gaze for the moment, I indulged the impulse to let my eyes linger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I took it all in: a tumble of copper waves, swept away from her face and into a decorative clip except for a few mischievous tendrils, skin like fresh cream with a dusting of cinnamon. I kept coming back to her face, though. Those wide aventurine eyes, and her understatedly sensuous lips. I wondered if the color was always so rich, or if they were stained from the strawberries.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had been sitting with her legs tucked underneath her, but suddenly she shifted toward me. I felt her rest a palm on my chest, her hair brushing against my cheek as she leaned over me. "Kellin? Did you fall asleep?" she asked softly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How long had I been staring at her? At least she had given me an out. "Huh? I must have," I answered as I pulled my arm away from my face, rubbing an eye in the process. "I'm sorry. What did I miss?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I was just saying that this is my favorite part of the day," she replied, returning to a similar pose as before while maintaining the newer proximity. She leaned onto her opposite hand for reinforcement, allowing the one closest to me to come to rest on a bare thigh. “There’s a magic about it, like a lifting of the veil between worlds. I always feel like things are closer, more alive.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I propped myself onto an elbow for a better view of what she was seeing. "Things like what?” I replied, noticing how the dusk seemed to saturate everything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nothing we have names for, I guess.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Because they’re from these other worlds?” I asked sincerely, but immediately worried that she would think I was mocking her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Exactly,” she replied, seeming to allay my anxieties. “We just feel them through the gauze for a fleeting moment every day, never getting to know them. Speaking of fleeting, it’ll be dark soon. Should we start packing up?” she asked, turning back to soak in what was left of the view.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My heart skipped a beat. "It's kind of like those flowers that only open for a few minutes at a time," I added, realizing that more than one moment was quickly drawing to a close. I covered her hand in my own, pulling it towards me and gingerly kissing her strawberry stained fingertips. I felt her breath evacuate her body, but she didn't turn towards me. "Come here," I pleaded, lightly scratching my fingernails down the arm I held, leaving trails of goosebumps.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I barely had time to blink before I tasted strawberries on my lips. I sat all the way up without releasing her wrist and buried my other hand into her hair, drawing her closer to me. The satisfaction of  sucking those juices off her lips was too enticing a thought, and I felt my manners begin to buckle. I broke away without letting her go, meeting her gaze.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why'd you stop?" she asked, breathless and wide-eyed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm sorry...I really wanted to do that while I had the chance. I just really want to see you again, and I don't want to fuck things up by going too far," I explained, allowing my hands and gaze to drop.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I felt her hand thread through my hair this time, as she pulled our faces together so that our noses made contact. Her smell, like sandalwood and fresh ginger, was intoxicating. I could feel her breath against my lips as she said, "I'd like that, too."</em>
</p><p>I bounced up the stairs of the tour bus and was relieved to find that nobody had changed their minds about going out. It didn’t take long for the hope of hearing her voice to dissipate. I couldn’t find my charger anywhere. Only after systematically tossing every one of my possessions onto the floor did I remember that, predictably, I had forgotten to pack my charger in the first place. I’d been sharing Jack’s, failing to follow through on replacing mine for a month now. He must have taken it with him, and the idea of digging through other bunks in search of one was too disgusting to stomach.</p><p>Defeated, I poured myself a shot of Jack Daniels, followed by two more. I stripped down to my underwear, adding my clothes to the rest that were piled on the floor, content in the fact that it would annoy the others.</p><p>I climbed into my bunk for some broken and restless sleep, redeemed only by dreams of Gemma – touching her and hearing those sounds she only made for me. I wanted to stay there with her, but I was being pulled back into consciousness as Gemma’s moans became more foreign.</p><p>Unwilling, I walked through the door of consciousness that locks itself behind you, definitively forbidding return to your previous reality. Frustrated, I surrendered to wakefulness, noticing the physical remnant of my dream before realizing the soundtrack was still playing. Whoever it was, they were inaudible under the woman’s drunken noise, which I was silently grateful for. She didn’t sound much like Gemma at all, but my chances of getting back to sleep without some kind of sexual release were non-existent.</p><p>I began by rubbing myself through the fabric, thinking about the way Gemma would grind against me when she was on top of me. Burying her hips into me, stoking me with her wetness while denying me the satisfaction of entry. It drove me insane, and she knew it. I slipped my underwear down, releasing my now throbbing cock. As I stroked it, I thought about her sweet lips and that wide-eyed look she'd throw me from under her lashes. The most powerful of her charms, one that I was utterly defenseless against.</p><p>Continuing to imagine the moans were hers, I thought about how she looked riding me. Always playful at first, before the sensations overwhelmed her and she became lost in the moment. I loved watching her like that, some kind of goddess at the altar, and knowing I was the source of her pleasure. I'd always pull her back to me eventually and she’d flutter her eyes at me intermittently like some form of erotic torture. A sacrifice I was willing to make to hear every sound she made, rolling out my name right before she came collapsing into my embrace with a shiver. I'd kiss the top of her head and we'd savor our tangled bliss. In those moments, I felt incredibly close to her, her breath synchronizing with the rising of my chest.</p><p>So occupied with my fantasy, I had finished and stilled my hand without even realizing it. I could no longer hear the mystery woman's moans, just the faint sound of breath letting me know I wasn't alone. I wiped myself off, slid my underwear back on, and peeked out of my bunk. I didn't see anyone, whoever had come back must be sleeping it off in their bunk. It was still early in the night, as the rest of the guys hadn't made it back yet - I would have heard them. I laid back down, willing whoever was here to be drunk enough that their situational awareness was impaired. I had no way of knowing whether or not anyone heard me until the morning, but if they had, I would never hear the end of it.</p>
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